Meditations on a Winter Night

At the foot of a mount in a cabin of log
Lives a hunter, his wife, and an old, droopy dog.
Every evening or so they sit down by the fire
And they listen to tales from the world’s biggest liar.
Now this hunter, you see, he loves spinning a yarn
From the tip of the mount to the top of his barn.
And when he starts a-tellin' those tales that he tells
You can bet there's a stench that the old doggy smells.
It’s the smell of a liar, mark my words, 'cause it’s true.
If you lied bad as that, he'd be smellin' you too!
One cold night as they sat near the fire, big and warm
The house rattled and shook from an oncoming storm.
"Oh my land!" cried his wife as outside the wind blew,
"If this blizzard keeps up, I'm afraid that we're through!"
“No we ain’t!” said the hunter, not seeming to care.
“I survived a worse storm once while fightin' a bear!"
"It began,” he began, “when I hunted this deer,
Then it started to snow, the first time of the year.
I lost track of the deer on account of that snow.
There were flakes big as fists, then they started to grow
Till the biggest one almost knocked over a tree,
But then not even that one could knock over me!
It was cold, I remember, much colder than now,
So I thought it was best I got warmer somehow
And I picked up some sticks, then as fast as I could
Made a bonfire so big it lit most of the wood.
Since I wanted some fish and the lake was all froze,
I broke ice with my feet and caught fish with my toes.
Then I cut down some trees and as quick as a lick,
I constructed a cabin all sturdy and thick.
When I’d finished the last touching up on the place,
This enormous and fierce polar bear hit my face.
Well, I guess that big bear he was fixin' to steal
All them fish I’d caught earlier to eat for my meal
Because bears, as you know, they like eatin' fish too
So we wrestled and rolled and the storm howled and blew.
I took care of that bear, boy I took him to town.
Wasn’t long, I recall, till I had that bear down.
He was screamin' for mercy so I let him go
But he said to me ‘Boy, it’s real cold in the snow.
Once I looked at that fire, well, I thought it was swell
And I thought to myself I might sit for a spell.’
I felt bad for the bear, so I said it’s all right
If he came in and stayed by the fire for the night.
In the morning I told him that next time it snowed,
He could come spend the night at my humble abode.”
So he ended his tale and his wife shook her head.
"I think that's the worst lie ever uttered!" she said.
“When I think you’re done fibbing, you say something new.”
“But this one,” he protested, “is utterly true!”
And just then from the door came a big booming knock,
So his wife went up to it and undid the lock
And the doorway was filled with a white, husky bear.
“Can I please come inside?” he asked. “It’s cold out there!”